If comic book dealers were like the mafia what would the families look like?
Stop at a booth, drop by the store/office, kiss the ring, show the cash, watch what you say or you may get whacked, forum dinners resembling a meeting of the families, doing deals in parking lots, eating, drinking and you’ve pretty much got the Godfather movies and the Soprano’s. Remember if you’re not inside, you’re outside.
| One of the oldest NYC families is run by Godfather Steve Don Vito Fishler. Dangerous and cunning the 800 pound gorilla can make or break your day. Remember that there will be a day he will make you an offer you cannot refuse. Inside the family it’s always known that never tell anybody outside the family what you\’re thinking. | Capo – Vinny the dapper TV Don Zurzolo, Consiglieri – Ben Smith, Soldiers – Frank yeah I\’m tall so what Cwiklik, Chris Foster and Rob Muscles Reynolds. When a hit is needed they call in Mike The Joker Carbonaro |
| Heading up one of the powerful east coast auction house comic crime families is Josh Tattallgia Nathinson. This family has a business plan that may go something like this – I don’t like violence, Tom. I’m a businessman. Pressing is a big expense. | Consiglieri – Tommy best looking man in comics Brulato, Capo – Doug Gillock, Soldiers – Steve Artie Bucco Lauterbach and Jason Crosby |
| Godfather Blazing Bobby Storms heads up the Long Island comic crime family. Up and coming, this family represents the future of the hobby. Remember Godfather Bobby is a a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately. When posed with a problem he has always insisted that if you had come to him in friendship, then the scum that ruined your comic deal would be suffering this very day. | Soldiers – Jim Furio Giunta McCallum, Drew Bacala Fowlie, money laundering duties are managed by Andre take the cannoli’s Zilli |
| Upstart Godfather Brian The smoozer Ketterer heads up the New Jersey family. Remember a lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. | Consiglieri – Dave the smiler Miller, Capo – Greg Reece, Solders – Bruce Coller, Ken Lin, John I’ve got the guns Seeberger. Money Laundering operations are run by Gene the Gekko Park. This family lives by the line – There’s no nobility in poverty. |
| Gary Moondog Colabuono runs the Chicago Family. A handshake is how they run business out there. Remember you’re only as good as your last envelope. Don’t ever cross the moondog. | Consigliere – The late Joe Sarno, Soldiers – Angelo and Alan the pedigreeman. |
| Godfather Richard Cement Shoes Evans controls the Texas comic syndicate. The only problem is they are old like Junior and losing their grip. | Consiglieri – Billy Patsy Parisi Parker, Soldiers – Rick Gator Whitelock and Bill Wild man Ponseti. The clean up man is Matt Restoman Nelson. Don Richie has been heard to say at shows – Some Golden Age collectors are so far up my butt, I can taste Brylcreem. |
| Another powerful family is CGC run by Godfather Mark Barzini Haspel. Stern, cold and calculating this family is feared throughout the industry. | Capo – Paulie Walnuts Litch, Shawn Christopher Caffrey, Soldiers – Mike tats, Gemma the brewmaster Adel, Nicole, Bree I’m Ghetto and Ryan Benny Caffrey. Shawn Christopher Caffrey was trying to negotiate a raise with the former Don Steve Silvio Borock – This ain’t negotiation time. This is Scarface, final scene, f**kin’ bazookas under each arm, say hello to my little friend! Steve Silvio Borock’s response – Always with the scenarios. |
| Godfather Dale Roberts heads up the Southern family and rely\’s on southern charm to keep his territory in line. | Consiglieri – Tupennany Conan, Soldiers – Jim Doc Watson and Steven The King Solomon. |
| The Brooklyn Supplies family is run by none other than Godfather Jeff Whatsup Cerrito. Has been seen talking to Charles and saying Charlie, you\’re my older brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever. | Consiglieri – Charles Cerrito, Steve I’m warm like bread and Big Daddy Cerrito is the muscle of this family. |
| The florida posse is run by Godfather Joe Johnny Sack Grisolia. Don’t mess with the CFP, guys have been found pressed and left in holders in orange groves. | Soldier – Mike MC Miles |
| The reigning Godfather of New England Dan I spend Millions Greenhaugh. Has been known to say – You sonofabitch, do you know who I am? I’m Dan Greenhaugh! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders. | Capo – Ted Fredo Vanliew, Soldiers – Andy Powder Cretella, Jose, Jeff Jack. Hits are performed by Gary the gasman Dolgoff. |
| Marnin Hyman Roth Rosenburg heads up the Great Neck family. One of the more militant organizations with constant upheavals. When confronting an ex member of the family he calmly stated – Today I settled all Family business, so don\’t tell me you\’re innocent, Brent. | Consiglieri – Mark media man Zaid, Soldiers – Jim awe come on Wilkerson, Steve the zipper Zarelli and muscle provided by Pat the resurrection man. The families motto is – If anything in this life is certain; If history has taught us anything, it’s that you can press anything. |
| Godfather Jim Itchie Richie Halpern runs the other powerful Texas family. Financial fingers are everywhere in this organization | Capo – Steve Silvio Borock, Soldiers – Ed Big Pussy Jaster and Lon Hesh Allen. When approaching this family you sometimes get a response – You\’re talking to the wrong white man, my friend. One of Ed’s notable quotes is – I’ve eaten more queens than Lancelot. |
| Heading up the very laid back west coast family is Phil foosball Schlaefer. Has been known to wake up some of his crew with an occassional outburst – Scott, you can act like a man! [slap] What’s the matter with you? | Consigliere – Alan the wine man Barr, Soldiers – Ben Labonog, Scott Rice. Muscle is provided by Frank Simmons |
| Heading up the UK comic crime family is John The Greek Skoulides. Watch your back when doing business with this crew. When Duncan left the business he said to John – Can you get me off the hook? For old times’ sake. John – Can’t do it Duncan. Hasn’t been seen since. | Consigliere – Nic the steak knife Beckett, Soldiers – Richard the rockstar Makinson and Geoff Dent. Rumor is that former Don Duncan McAlpine is in the witness protection program somewhere in the castles of the UK conducting television interviews. |